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ADOPTION PARENTING
PARENTING: RACE & CULTURE
What I Want My Adopted Child to Know
An Adoptive Parent’s Perspective
By Sally Bacchetta
www.TheAdoptiveParent.com

I was surprised. For some reason, I expected Sally Bacchetta’s What I Want My
Adopted Child to Know to run comfortably parallel to my own adoption-
parenting philosophy.  Her chapters (listed below, in part) address my adoptive
mom hopes, wishes and emotions, but sometimes track counter to my own
real-life adoptive family experience. Surprise and variety are good things,
however, as different viewpoints force me to examine my own beliefs…

      I Would Do It All Again
      We Really Are Your Parents
      I Regret What I Can’t Give You
      I Want to Be Part of Your Process
      You Are Responsible for You
      Before You Search
      I Will Always Love You

Sally is a dedicated mother, and obviously passionate about her children. I
respect Warrior Moms! She writes easily, with honesty and introspection, and
isn’t afraid to admit to moments of insecurity… or even jealousy. Infertility was a
dark, bitter battle, and Sally’s adopted children are deeply cherished; her
described stab-of-pain is universally understandable when her very young
daughter innocently admits to briefly wanting her beloved teacher to be her
mommy. Adoptive parents will relate to what Sally voices so well, and may even
be motivated to put thoughts to paper to explain or expand on family
connections for their own sons and daughters. And why not? Adoption is only
partially charted territory. Back-story and direction could be very helpful to us all!

From my perspective, Bacchetta’s emphatic explanation of why she and her
husband are the “real” parents rests on a house of cards. Believing so,
proclaiming so, doesn’t always ‘make it so’ when it comes to an adoptee
growing up to own his or her adoption-related thoughts and feelings. However,
the subtitle of her book is An Adoptive Parent’s Perspective, and Sally has
certainly earned the mother-right to share her personal journey, her own views
and values, and the fierce love that built her family.

Reviewed by Jean MacLeod / www.AdoptionToolbox.com

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What I Want
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Beyond Good Intentions,
A Mother Reflects on Raising
Internationally Adopted Children
by Cheri Register

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